Saturdayslammagammaganza (Official Title)
Saturday, starting at 10 am
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Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot (Working Title)
by Justin Johnson
(ignoring logical advice from Adam Johnson)
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Episode 003
Premise: Times are dark in Angel Grove.
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Our bad guys, are the Ottoman Empire.
The Ottoman Empire is led by an ottoman.
The Legion of Doom of the Ottoman Empire is the ottoman’s version of Congress, a useless legislative body.
The Legion of Doom of the Ottoman Empire consists of seven equals.
These equals are:
- Professor Ivan Ooze (teaches at Angel Grove Community College, a course at Angel Grove High School)
- Sir Shredder (from Ninja Turtles, recently knighted by a queen)
- Bumble (a bumble)
- Knife (a man-sized knife)
- Kill Bill (the movie, but not on a DVD or film, the actual movie)
- The Devil Himself (a bartender (not in Angel Grove))
- A-Spy (a spy)
The Legion of Doom of the Ottoman Empire has its own bartender named Dave. He makes great Long Island Iced Teas.
—
Our heroes are the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot.
They are mentored by:
- Zordon, a head
- Alpha 5 Pinkranger, a robot
Our heroes, the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot, are teenage robots.
They consist of:
- Jason OmarEpps (played by Matthew Lawrence)
- Trini OmarEpps (not yet cast)
- Zach OmarEpps (played by Oscar Wilde)
- Kimberly Pinkranger (who is at The Max)
- Billy
Billy is jerking it to Super Munchers while house- and cat-sitting for his aunt.
Super Munchers is a bracketmouth frog wearing a cape. He eats presidents.
The cat is black.
The cat can talk.
The cat is named Salem.
Billy is the nephew of Zelda and Hilda on Sabrina The Teenage Witch.
Billy is not a witch, because Billy is a boy.
Kimberly is at The Max, with Kelly Kapowski, Jessica Spano, and Lisa M. Turtle.
Alpha 5 Pinkranger and Kimberly Pinkranger are second cousins. Their mothers are first cousins.
—
[This episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot (Working Title) is to air from 11 am to 5 pm Saturday.]
[At 10 am Saturday, an episode of Saved By The Bell will air. Kimberly will be at The Max, with Kelly Kapowski, Jessica Spano, and Lisa M. Turtle.]
[Mr. Belding is played by Richard Karn. His catchphrase is “Hey hey hey hey hey I don’t think so, Tim!”]
[This episode airs on NBC, because they show Saved By The Bell.]
[At 10:30 am Saturday, VR Troopers. Matthew Lawrence is a VR Trooper.]
[This episode airs on Fox, because they show VR Troopers.]
[At 10:58 am Saturday, Mike’s Super Short Show will feature VR Troopers as reality into a computer as Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot. Mike is excited.]
[This episode airs on The Disney Channel, because they show Mike’s Super Short Show.]
[At 11 am Saturday, the aforementioned third episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot (Working Title) will air.]
[This episode airs on Fox, as they show Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot (Working Title).]
[Following the 6-hour third episode of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: Reboot (Working Title), at 5 pm Saturday, a special hour-long episode of Good Luck Charlie will air.
[This special episode will feature Charlie as a cute baby, and Knife and A-Spy as special guests.]
[Knife and A-Spy each attempt to accompany Teddy to the high school dance, which is visually and thematically upsetting. PJ eats an entire jar of olives. The other son can be seen wandering through the background of The Max, but this isn’t addressed at any point ever. At the end, Teddy says, “Good luck, Charlie.” We can visibly tell she’s been crying.]
[This episode airs on The Disney Channel, because they show Good Luck Charlie.]
[At 6 pm Saturday, an episode of All That (part of SNICK) will air, featuring only the great stuff.]
[This episode airs on Nickelodeon, because they show All That.]
[Following this great episode of All That, at 6:30 pm Saturday, Nickelodeon will then air twelve episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? (part of SNICK), simultaneously. The twelve episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? (part of SNICK) will be shown in a 3x4 grid. Please don’t turn off the sound of these twelve simultaneous episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? (part of SNICK). All sound is required, so leave it on, ok?]
[These twelve episodes of Are You Afraid of the Dark? (part of SNICK) will air without commercial break.]
[This episode airs on Nickelodeon, because they show Are You Afraid of the Dark? (part of SNICK)]
[At 6:58 pm Saturday, Mike’s Super Short Show, shown on The Disney Channel (as previously mentioned), will feature Mike ripping the computer’s power cord from the wall. We can visibly tell he’s been crying.]
[The cord will pull the electrical outlet housing from the wall, and a 3-inch man will climb partially out of the hole.]
[The three-inch man will breathe fire.]
[The fire will spread rapidly through Mike’s room.]
[The final shot of the Saturdayslammagammaganza (Official Title) will feature Mike’s family home, erupting drastically fast into flames, and Mike’s body will be propelled from his bedroom window, ablaze.]
[Cut to black as Mike’s small body violently slams the ground.]
[Roll credits on FX, which immediately smush down to an unreadable size.]
[The viewer, at this time, should probably change the channel to FX.]
[At 7:00 pm Saturday, Transformers will begin to show up in a tiny window, as the smushed credits continue to roll for nearly ten minutes.]
[This movie airs on FX, because they show Transformers, like, all the time.]
[For fullscreen credits, please send a self-addressed, stamped envelope.]